Mini-van Man

Nick Cardilino

When I was twelve, I picked up my first hot rod magazine

I cut a lot of lawns to buy an old Camaro at sixteen

I’ve had a TransAm, a 280 Z, a Viper and Vette

And every time I see a Mustang GT, I break out in a sweat

But you’ve turned me into a mini-van man

I don’t know how, ‘cuz that’s not who I think I am

If I act strange, well, it’s a big change, and you’ll have to understand

I’m getting used to bein’ a mini-van man

When I said, “I do,” I didn’t have any idea

That these vows meant I’d be choosing between a Caravan and a Kia

But with the baby, the big diaper bag, the car seat and the stroller

My wheels will go with my hairline to show the world I’m getting older, and

Chorus

What do you think of this one?

It has safety features galore

Plus an 8-cylinder, fuel-injected,

350 horse power,

automatic, 4 wheel drive,

chrome wheels, sun roof

14 speaker CD player,

built-in TV, DVD,

leather seats, racing stripes,

and it’s candy apple red!

Well, I guess I can be a mini-van man

Maybe that is who I really am

If I act strange, well, it’s a big change, and you’ll have to understand

I’ll get used to bein’ a mini-van man